Thursday, September 25, 2008

Breaking (wind) news

I'm so relieved to see that a West Virginia man will no longer face battery charges after being accused of passing gas and then waving the fumes toward police officers while he was being detained following a DUI arrest.

According to the original Associated Press story, the police said that Jose A. Cruz, 34, scooted his chair toward a patrolman, lifted his leg and ‘‘passed gas loudly.’’

‘‘The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons,’’ the complaint alleged.

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn’t move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.

‘‘I couldn’t hold it no more,’’ he said.

You can read about it here, and who wouldn't want to?

In other flatulence news ...

* Jessica Simpson apparently ate the wrong meal before a show in Niagara Falls recently. But don't fret. She says her flatulence "smells like roses." I'll take her word for it.

* Then there's this clip of NFL analyst John Clayton appearing on ESPN's SportsCenter. Oh, the joys of live TV.

* And from the high-tech world of mobile farts is this story about the Pull My Finger application that Apple rejected for its iPhone. According to Beta News, it's an application that produces five or six sounds of human flatulence (and you thought it was embarrassing when you got a phone call in the middle of a meeting now). It got rebuffed not on the basis of offensive content, but on grounds that it is "of limited utility to the broad iPhone and iPod touch user community."

Stay tuned for the latest, breaking ppppplllrrrbbbtttttss here.

1 comment:

Allison Kennedy said...

Hey, great minds think alike--I posted that one too. :)