Very misleading ad

I hope there's no one gullible enough to swallow the Democrats' TV advertisement slamming Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.) for supporting a 23 percent national sales tax. The ad, which is funded by the Democraric Party and not by Chambliss' opponent, Jim Martin, implies that this 23 percent is on top of business-as-usual. Chambliss merely supported the Fair Tax, which would be a national sales tax of, yes, 23 percent. But the ad fails to mention that such a tax would completely eliminate the national income tax.

I kind of like the Fair Tax myself, but I don't buy as much as most folks. But I have a big problem with any ad playing to the ignorance and fear of the electorate, whether it's this ad from the Democrats or the McCain campaign's tasteless robocalls implying Obama cavorts with terrorists.

Click here to read more about the sales tax ads.

Kudos to the New Yorker

A whole bunch of folks, including Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama's camp, are upset about the latest cover of the New Yorker. The cover essentially illustrates right-wing nut jobs' unwarranted fears about who Obama really is and what he stands for. I seriously doubt any of these nut jobs have read Obama's actual proposals because more than 90 percent of them would see their taxes cut under Obama's plans. If you make under $250,000 a year, anyway.

But Obama's camp is hyper-sensitive to even satire addressing the myth that he's a closet Muslim. And Republican candidate Sen. John McCain agrees that the cover is inappropriate. I disagree. Thank God for free speech and for the idiots we get to make fun of. The cover is gutsy and brilliant, unlike most politicians. And unlike too many people. And unlike too many publications and media outlets. Click on the image for a larger version.

And click here to visit America's Election Headquarters, Fox News, where the satire is apparently completely lost on the people making comments about the story on their Web site. Their reaction is funnier than the cover itself.

Rep. Up Tight, R-Georgia

Further confirming some Northerners' stereotype that Georgia is home to nothing but religious zealots and backward hicks, Rep. Paul Broun, a Republican, has introduced the Military Honor and Decency Act, which would ban troops from being able to buy those raunchy magazines Playboy and Penthouse on military bases. You can read the Army Times story here.

Do you get the feeling that Broun might be the next Rep. Mark Foley, the former Republican head of the Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus who got busted for sexually explicit chats with a teenage page? Don't remember him? Read about him here. Or perhaps Broun just really is that uptight. Certainly if we ban these magazines, these guys will never think of naked women again.

I'm sure our troops, especially the ones who've been deployed to Iraq, have seen things far more horrifying than silicone-enhanced naked women. Maybe Broun wants to keep nudity and sexual perversion where it belongs, such as at U.S.-run prisons like Abu Ghraib. It's a shame he seems more concerned about this than sending kids to die for a mistake.

Sometimes I wonder if uptight folks like this guy are the people who are the true purveyors of perversion by making something as natural as sex and beauty so dirty in the first place. Dude, chill. It's just a naked lady. Don't panic!

Week in review 18

• Everything ever made in China is recalled, leaving Americans naked and hungry, and with nothing to play with.
• Entertainer and entrepreneur Merv Griffin dies at 82, not long after reports surface that his life was in Jeopardy.
• The Republicans conduct a straw poll in Iowa. Preliminary results show Mitt Romney likes the bendy kinds, while Mike Huckabee likes pine.
• Temperatures hit triple digits across Georgia, proving yet again the genius of starting schools in early August.
• Sending a teacher into space backfires for NASA when a serious gash in Endeavour's thermal shield is discovered, and Barbara Morgan insists every astronaut is going to stay in orbit until one admits to making the gash in the shield.
• Two African fossils discovered by renowned paleontologist Maeve Leakey have thrown a monkey wrench into the concept of the human family tree. The fossils suggest that two of man's ancestors lived side by side -- instead of the long-running theory that one of those species evolved into the other, and that led to humans. However, scientists do note that while they lived side-by-side, they built a very large privacy fence between each other.
• Paris Hilton says that her famous-for-being-famous pal Nicole Richie will be the best mom ever. In addition, she'll also be the first mom to be outweighed by her newborn.
• Yet another study shows the "Baby Einstein" video series is worthless, and actually may delay language development in toddlers. Even worse, "Baby Einstein" viewers had terrible, terrible hair by age 7.
• In a related story, Nicole Richie says she'll still use the "Baby Einstein" series with her child, just as soon as she's through watching them all.

Week in review 11

Honestly, I have no clue what's been going on outside my own little world because I've been on vacation for the past 10 days and eight nights or something like that. I'll assume that the rest of the world went something like this:

• A report came out that showed our economy is super strong and Republicans waved it around.
• A report came out that showed our economy is going to hell in a handbasket and Democrats waved it around.
• A lot of people were killed in God's name because of religious differences.
• A pro athlete who could live the rest of his life in the lap of luxury did something really stupid and put his future in jeopardy.
• Four gazillion people died in West Iran, uh, I mean Iraq, and some one blamed the "liberal" media for overlooking all the positive things that happened this week, such as when an RPG missed 12-year-old Habib by 4 inches while he was running to a beautiful, high-tech, brand new school that will be blown up next week.

Of course, I'm just assuming all that because I was on a round trip around the world, or at least around the little part of it that takes you from Columbus to Eufaula to Panama City to Valdosta to Eufaula again and back to Columbus. Not exactly "Following the Equator," but it'll do. So, here's the Week in Review as I actually experienced it:

• Gas is cheaper in Alabama, Florida and Valdosta than it is in Columbus. Certainly this is simply a product of "economic factors" we non-economic-minded morons can't understand ... such as price gouging and collusion.
• Alligators are attracted to red kayaks. And while most kayaks bop along around 4 mph, they can hit speeds of 35 mph when followed by a 10-foot-plus alligator.
• This kayaker falsely assumed that there is some current on the Chattahoochee River between Hatchechubee and Lakepoint near Eufaula. I was wrong. My calculations for the 2-hour, 16-mile trip were off by two and a half hours.
• I turned 37 in one of my favorite places on Earth. No, not Louie's Gutbuster Buffet. Panama City, Fla., where there's now a high-rise condo complex every 12 inches. But, soon, there also will be a Margaritaville at the new Pier Park. At least I think I turned 37. I know it had a 3 in it.
• The chic way to dispose of your cigarette at the beach is to flick it into the sand. With any luck, you can pollute the air, the land and if the sea comes in enough, the water too. The ultimate redneck triple-whammy. And you thought it was just people in Columbus and Phenix City who are too lazy to use an ashtray.
• People from such far-away lands as Michigan and Minnesota don't understand the whole sunscreen concept ... well, until Day 2 of their Florida vacations anyway.
• Overheard from my exasperated son at Wild Adventures when his dad stopped to talk to a deranged maintenance man: "Oh great! Dad's stopped to talk to a crazy person again!" His dad attracts these people like dog poop attracts flies.
• The portable DVD player is mankind's single greatest invention, something to which parents who take their kids on long trips can attest. Headphones that plug into these DVD players run a close second.
• A discovery: Floating over waves on an inner tube in 95-degree heat is cool. Changing a flat tire in 95-degree heat in Eufaula is hot.
• A discovery you're not allowed to tell my doctor about: Next to Troy's Snack Shack in Montezuma, Ga., the best burger in America can be found at Schooner's in Panama City Beach. But I must say the view of the open-air, beachside restaurant is far better than Troy's.