Yes, I know Obama's not a Muslim

Thought I'd share this e-mail exchange with a reader over my most recent column:

To: Johnson, Chris - Columbus
Subject: Senator Barack Obama is not a Muslim terrorist

While I'm sure the inherent humor in telling patent falsehoods about a man who stands a very good chance of being the next President of the United States of America is readily apparent to you, it has to this point eluded me. In your (admittedly facetiously-toned) article titled "Andy for President", you referred to John McCain as "a foul-mouthed dude with a bad temper" and Barack Obama as "a Muslim terrorist". While not putting names to either remark, the purpose is clear to even the casual reader.

The problem with these statements is that while McCain can, objectively, be foul-mouthed and possessive of a bad temper, to be a Muslim one must self-identify as such, something that Barack Obama denies. Indeed, if you were to ask Senator Obama what his religious affiliation was, he would respond that he is a Christian. Further, to be a terrorist is to be someone who spreads and uses fear, generally (though not always) in the form of violent action to further a set of goals, generally a political agenda that is not in keeping with the mainstream politics of the area. Barack Obama has never done this, has never been accused of this, and indeed there are no reasons to believe that he may have done so in the past or will do so in the future.

In the future, perhaps basic fact-checking, or a personal desire to avoid the pitfalls of yellow journalism in an otherwise humorous article would befit you. I recommend it highly.

Sincerely,
------
Columbus, GA

On Tue, Jul 29, 2008 at 9:43 PM, Johnson, Chris - Columbus wrote:
Thanks for the clarification, but I assure you it's sarcasm with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Any folks who actually believe Obama is a Muslim or terror conspirator are too stupid to vote. Granted, that's a high number. But I like to poke fun at the ignorant and feed them at the same time.
Thanks,
CJ


Chris,
The misconception is being spread broadly enough that it's getting hard to tell who's been sarcastic and who's being serious. I'm glad to hear that at least my hometown paper is safe. Take care.
- -------

Dear ------
Well, if there weren’t a misconception, there wouldn’t be much of a race. Obama would run away with it. You know, I once ran a farcical column that terrorists had created a bomb that didn’t explode but could knock out service to restaurants in Columbus, causing everyone here to starve to death because no one in this town seems to cook. Some folks believed it. I once had Satan take over my column for the week and explain that he wasn’t nearly as bad as he’s been made out to be and that a lot of stuff blamed on him over the years was not his fault. Some folks believed that, too. As for Obama, right-wingers will keep spreading that propaganda until, indeed, folks have heard it enough that they begin to believe there’s truth in it. I think they call it politics. For further clarification of my views on it, here was my blog reaction to the recent New Yorker cover.

http://blawgwild.blogspot.com/2008/07/kudos-to-new-yorker.html


Listen to Larry

Last week my former boss Larry Foley, the news editor here at the Ledger-Enquirer, called me aside to talk. This is something he does about once every, well, never. Larry may be the most private man in the entire newsroom. So I couldn't imagine what he had to say, but I couldn't have imagined anything much worse. He wrote a column for today's paper about what he told me. Here's the opening:

"You have cancer."

Those were the worst words I thought I would ever hear from the doctor exploring my prostate problems. But a week later, after X-ray bone scans and a CT scan at a hospital, he told me nine words that were much worse, terribly worse, and devastating: "Your cancer has spread. You have an incurable condition."

You can read Larry's entire column here, and if you're a man, pay attention. It's a powerful and an important column. Keep him in your thoughts. And, if nothing else, learn from him.

Photo of Larry Foley by Mike Haskey/Ledger-Enquirer

Mickey D's

My McDonald's career is over after one 1-hour shift. Man, you steal a few McNuggets and they just go all crazy on you. Like those people needed 10 McNuggets. Eight was plenty for them.

OK, so I was only behind the counter to encourage folks to donate to the Ronald McDonald House, and I'd say at least 4 out of 5 people did. I didn't check folks' W-2 forms, but I'd also venture to guess that the folks who had the least to give gave the most. And a large group of co-workers and my bosses came in and were quite generous, as well.

I hate when people beg me for money, so I appreciate everyone who let me beg them for money. Also, thanks to the staff at the downtown Columbus McDonalds at Veterans Parkway and 14th Street, especially the front counter gals like LaToya here who had to work around me for a while.

I also want to note that this puts me ahead of two co-workers -- nightlife diva Sonya Sorich and my boss Pork Chop, who were once turned down for jobs at Jack in the Box and Wendy's, respectively. I told Pork Chop she should have worn her hair in pigtails for that interview. I'd have done anything to hear the man say, "Sorry, Miss Chop, but you're just not Wendy's material. But, hey, there's always journalism."

Happy retirements!

Three of my co-workers in the newsroom have headed out the door for early retirement this week — columnist Kaffie Sledge, writer Mick Walsh and copy editor Jerry Gibson, who have over 100 years of experience between them.

Jerry sits right behind me and Mick sits right in front of me. I'm about to have an awful lot of elbow room. They're three of the nicest folks you'll ever meet, and we'll be sending them off in style in about three weeks.

I work closest with Jerry because we're both in features. Jerry hardly ever misses a day of work and is a huge movie buff. He also has an understated sense of humor and is quick to join me in saying things to make my boss Pork Chop yell, "Inappropriate!"

There was a story about Jerry, Mick and Kaffie's retirements in today's Ledger-Enquirer. Part of it deals with when Jerry lost parts of all 10 fingers after being trapped atop a mountain in a freak snowstorm and saving the life of another man. You can read the story by clicking here.

Good luck, guys.

(Photo of Chuck Williams, Tony Adams and Jerry Gibson by Mike Haskey/Ledger-Enquirer)

Insult Your Boss Day

My colleague Sandra Okamoto, the only person at the Ledger-Enquirer who intimidates and scares me, pointed out today that Insult Your Boss Day is just around the corner. It's July 23.

Of course, Sandra noted that because I call my boss "Pork Chop" that every day is Insult Your Boss Day for me.

According to the e-mail I was forwarded about the event: At 3:00 pm Eastern Standard Time on International Insult Your Boss Day, all workers should insult their bosses simultaneously, followed by a communal drink at the nearest bar. You might want to make sure your coworkers are planning to do this before you commit to it. Like senior skip day in high school, it only works if everyone participates. So, don't let your colleagues down.

You can learn more about Insult Your Boss Day and get handy advice at this Web site.

Bet he couldn't dance

Total theft from Monday's Ledger-Enquirer in the "Looking Back" 50 years ago section, here's an item from the Columbus police blotter in 1958:

Police are looking for a person who is missing two left legs.

Officers said they found two artificial left legs Saturday night on the steps of an abandoned funeral home on Sixth Avenue and 23rd Street.

The owner, or owners, may claim the legs at police headquarters.

I'd keep you posted as developments warrant, but I have a feeling the case is just going in circles.

No Child Left Untested rides again!

A report in today's Ledger-Enquirer by colleague Larry Gierer says that an estimated 40 percent of eighth-graders statewide and 56 percent in Muscogee County failed the CRCT. They must pass it before entering high school.

According to the story: Those students who didn't pass must attend summer sessions and retake the exam. Based on the preliminary results, the Muscogee County School District may have more than 1,000 students enroll in the eighth-grade CRCT Summer Acceleration Program, which will be June 9 through June 24. Students will receive instruction from 9 a.m. to noon. The eighth-grade reading tests will be on June 23, and math on the next day.

A lot of folks say we overtest because our kids are undereducated. I say our kids are undereducated because they're overtested. It's too bad the freedoms and flexibility my generation and previous generations enjoyed in schools are gone ... at least in public schools. Does anyone else find it ironic that grown folks so concerned about the state of today's education system are straying so far from the education system that made them such geniuses.

It's past time to drop President Bush's No Child Left Untested Act and get back to educating kids with common sense and not optical scanners.

OK, I'm back

I've been admonished by a few folks for sort of abandoning my blog lately, so I resolve to pay more attention to it in 2008. It is 2008 right? Expect more short notes and a little more personal stuff and very little of my writing craft here. Between my Friday night TV commentaries on WLTZ (click the link to see some) and my Sunday columns in the Ledger-Enquirer, my creativity's tapped out. Some might argue my creativity was tapped out long before. But there will be a lot more blogging here now, I promise. Of course, I also promised to give up caffeine in the new years (and a dozen previous new years), so take that for what it's worth.

TV stars

The Ledger-Enquirer and WLTZ officially launched their joint-effort newscast this week. They air at 6 p.m., 7 p.m. and an 11-minute version at 11 p.m. on Channel 38. Look for commentaries during the 7 p.m. show from my colleagues Dusty Nix on Tuesdays, Tim Chitwood on Wednesdays, nightlife diva Sonya Sorich on Thursdays, and look for my commentary on Fridays.

This, of course, means that I'll have to start shaving before taping my commentaries and I'll look 12 years old again. Although, I won the battle to keep me from having to wear a tie on the air.

TV puts Week in Review on hold

I'm putting my "Week in Review" on hold now that I've accepted an opportunity to do a commentary on WLTZ's 6 o'clock news every Friday. The Ledger-Enquirer and WLTZ have teamed up to present the newscast. Look for me every Friday. The scary part is that I must now shave my face instead of having my scraggly half-beard on TV. Yep, I've gone over to the dark side. I'll keep it light and I'll eventually loosen up in front of the camera. See ya on Fridays.

Newspaper songs

Hey, in this Sunday's column in the Ledger-Enquirer, I'm going to write about some great newspaper songs, some obvious, some not so obvious. Although, unlike my colleague Brad Barnes, who's liable to throw some obscure bands at ya, I'm fairly mainstream outside of my religiously following Jimmy Buffett. So I'm sure you'll recognize all the songs I list, assuming you're over the age of 12. Allow me to go ahead and get one stuck in your head:

So while she lay there sleeping,

I read the paper in bed.

And in the personals column,

there was this letter I read:

"If you like Pina Coladas,

And getting caught in the rain.

If you're not into yoga,

if you have half-a-brain.

If you like making love at midnight,

In the dunes of the cape.

I'm the lady you've looked for,

Write to me and escape."

Daddy's coming home!

For nearly 10 years, I worked until about midnight or 1 a.m. at the Ledger-Enquirer. I was on the news copy desk, which doesn't exactly lend itself to a good family life or much life at all outside of work without some creative scheduling. However, about a year and a half ago, I was fortunate enough to land a more normal schedule in the features department.

But last night I helped out a short-handed copy desk and realized how tough that can be on a parent. I managed to sneak out of the newsroom a little early and called to let the wife know I'd be home soon. In the background, I heard my 7-year-old son, Saylor, jumping up and down and yelling, "Daddy's coming home! Daddy's coming home!"

However, by the time I got there, the little fella had tuckered himself out waiting up for me and was asleep. I picked him up and carried him to his bed, kissed him on the cheek and told him I loved him, and he could barely mutter, "Love you too," before conking out for good. Sure makes me appreciate the flexibility I've got now.

Because I've got a flexible schedule, I was able to pick him up from day care and get him to his baseball game tonight. He's the 12th best hitter on a 13-member team but managed a couple of "hits" tonight and wound up with the game ball, which pretty much made his year. He said "I'm gonna call everybody I know," and proceeded to do just that after the game. The ball now sits on the mantle in our living room.

Had I still been on the news copy desk, I reckon I'd have missed that, too. So, the next time you spot a typo somewhere in the paper -- something that could never, ever happen on your watch, I'm sure -- cut them some slack. The words in one daily newspaper are enough to make a novel or two out of. It's a wonder there aren't far more errors in such a rushed product. Imagine if Mark Twain handed a rough draft of "Huckleberry Finn" to his editors at 2 p.m. and the book had to be edited, proofed, run on the press, out the door and hitting people's doorsteps in about 14 hours. That's pretty much what putting together a newspaper is like.

Perfection is every editor's goal and every reader's expectation, but it's not realistic. Just remember that there are a lot of folks giving up an awful lot to get that paper to you every day. Think about it while you're reading your kid to sleep.