Sunday, October 28, 2007

Week in review

  • President Bush approves a $285 million package for Mongolia, the latest country to receive U.S. aid in exchange for committing to democratic reforms. In a related story, Chris Johnson applies for a democratic aid package after letting family vote on whether to have fried chicken or hamburgers for dinner.
  • The Dalai Lama is formally installed as a professor at Atlanta's Emory University. The exiled Tibetan Buddhist spiritual leader, whose face is recognized around the world, now is the bearer of a faculty ID card. However, in a surprise move, the school announces that the Dalai Lama will be teaching introductory volleyball and sports appreciation.
  • Author and radio host Garrison Keillor gets a restraining order against a Hawkinsville, Ga., woman he claims has sent him explicit e-mails, telephone calls and disturbing gifts, including a petrified alligator foot and dead beetles. I like Garrison Keillor, but it's obvious the guy just don't appreciate nice gifts.
  • Civilian deaths are down for the second straight month, meaning the surge is working ... or Iraq's running low on civilians.
  • China launches its first lunar probe. However, moments after the Long March 3-A rocket soars into outer space, it is recalled when it is revealed it's a piece of junk like everything else made in China.
  • Despite the recall, the lunar probe reaches the moon. In a phone call to Earth, the man in the moon notes that the probe is uncomfortable.
  • The United States puts renewed pressure on Cuba to push away from communism ... while continuing to gladly hand its jobs and economic future to communist China. But that's completely different, right?
  • America, the nation that has raised gluttony from sin to glory, sees competitive eater Joey Chesnutt set a new record by downing 103 Krystal burgers in eight minutes in the Krystal Square Off in Chattanooga. Chesnutt wins $10,000, but immediately invests $9,900 of it in toilet paper.
  • The number of vacant homes for sale rises in the third quarter, according to the government. The Census Bureau report puts the number of vacant homes for sale at 2.07 million in the period, up about 2 percent from the second quarter, and 7 percent above year ago levels. Of that number, approximately 2.06 million are in Columbus, Ga.

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