Just park it

On Thursday, I watched somebody spend over a minute trying to park their giant, gas-guzzling truck into a space at the parking garage while at least three other cars, including mine, were blocked from continuing on their way to another level where we parked like normal people. And just now, I watched a guy struggle to maneuver his vehicle backward into a parking space at the gym. His was the only car in that entire side of the parking lot. It was surrounding by at least 24 empty parking spaces. Getting out was not going to be complicated.

I'm convinced that people who spend all this time parking backward so they can get out easier later actually spend more time doing that than the people who park normally and back out later. Pulling through to an empty space at the mall so you can exit easier is one thing. But, seriously people, backing out of a parking space is not exactly rocket science. And it's a lot easier and less time-consuming than backing into one.

Han Shot First

Like a lot of folks of my advanced age, I grew up watching "Star Wars" movies and collecting the action figures (they're ACTION FIGURES, not dolls!) and playing with my Death Star and Land Speeder toys. But I'm not a "Star Wars" fanatic (with apologies to Cody back home), nor was I ever a Trekkie, referring to fans of that TV series where people explored outer space in their jammies.

Because I wasn't quite deep enough into the series, I never knew what the shirts "Han Shot First" meant in nerd world. And I dared not ask the few people who I knew would know out of fear it would turn into a very long discussion and not a simple explanation. Fortunately, my friend and co-worker Sonya Sorich, succinctly explained it to me briefly yesterday as I designed a newspaper page with her column about NerdaCon, which comes to Columbus State University on Friday and Saturday. I won't be there. If you've ever wondered what "Han Shot First" is referring to, here's a summary of the great controversy.

When good nerds go bad

There's absolutely no way I can explain this story. It seems lurid ... involving affairs, prostitutes and such. But it's a virtual thing. Something called the "Second Life." It's where you live out a simulated life online with online friends, wives, and apparently prostitutes, too. Sorta. Kinda. Oh, heck, I don't know. I don't get it. Click here and see if you can figure out what may or may not be happening.

Pick-n-grin

Spent Friday night watching the Brookstone-Schley County game in Ellaville and then kept heading east to my hometown of Oglethorpe to hear gifted guitarist Lance Price, pictured at right, play an impromptu gig in his parents' backyard. Lance is a popular solo act in metro Atlanta and does a good bit of shows on the road, too. He actually got to perform during the Ryder Cup, too. Hmm, the reasons to hate Lance are piling up. Not only can he play guitar 100 times better than I can dream of doing, but he gets to go to all these cool places. You can check out Lance's Web site by clicking here.

Also pictured and helping this night turn into a good ol' Macon County pick-n-grin are, from left, Jeff Kelley and Jason McKinney. Jason's the lead singer for Gravel Road, a good down-home band you can learn more about here. The first time I caught them was in an abandoned chicken house with a couple hundred folks. They've come a long way since then.

It's fun to hang out with guitarists who can run the gamut of songs from goofy to good. Along with such songs as "Message in a Bottle" "Layla" and "More Than Words," they were able to mix in two Britney Spears songs for fun ("Hit Me Baby One More Time" and "Toxic") and even the freecreditreport.com song. You know the one:

They say a man should always dress for the job he wants so why i am i dressed like a pirate in this restaurant its all because some hacker stole my identity so im here every evening serving chowder and iced tea should have gone to free credit report.com i could have seen this coming at me like an atom bomb they monitor ur credit and send u email alerts so u dont end up serving fish to tourists in t-shirts.

Now that's range. That and bumping into old and new friends made for a fun night.

Also, be sure to check out the Ledger-Enquirer photos gallery from Mike Haskey with some great shots from Friday's night's big game in Ellaville by clicking here.

It's Christmas!

While scanning the presets on my truck's radio yesterday, I was surprised to learn it's Christmas. Well, it is on 95.7 FM anyway. I don't mind this so much on Sunny 100. After all, how many times can you stand to hear Sara Bareilles' "Love Song" being run into the ground? But 95.7 plays a lot of 80s retro stuff, or as you younger folks would call them, oldies. I don't feel old enough to call them that. I'll miss that station because it's going off my presets until January.

Election thoughts

I don't think anyone could have watched the clinching moments of the presidential election and not be a little emotional about the historical significance of Obama and his family going into the White House. Until last night, the cultural impact of this was of no concern to me. I was focused on the economic issues. But it was a little overwhelming last night when the impact hit me like a ton of bricks. Definitely a great moment to witness.

A not-so-great moment was going to a couple precincts like many others from the newspaper to collect voting results as soon as possible from local races. As they posted the numbers, I combed through the write-ins and saw that in various races God, Pee-Wee Herman, Kobe Bryant, Method Man, Jay-Z and the usual Mickey Mouse got their votes and my personal favorite write-in of the night, Don. Don who? I dunno.

That's a lot funnier in a special election no one cares about and draws 10 percent of voters. But in a historical election where people come out in droves and wait in long lines to cast serious ballots, it's pretty insensitive to add to the wait with selfishness and immaturity.

Vote today

If you can't seem to squeeze a trip to the polls into your work schedule today, take this to work with you.

Georgia law:

21-2-404. Affording employees time off to vote

Each employee in this state shall, upon reasonable notice to his or her employer, be permitted by his or her employer to take any necessary time off from his or her employment to vote in any municipal, county, state, or federal political party primary or election for which such employee is qualified and registered to vote on the day on which such primary or election is held; provided, however, that such necessary time off shall not exceed two hours; and provided, further, that, if the hours of work of such employee commence at least two hours after the opening of the polls or end at least two hours prior to the closing of the polls, then the time off for voting as provided for in this Code section shall not be available. The employer may specify the hours during which the employee may absent himself or herself as provided in this Code section.

Quite simply, this means that with the polls being open 7 a.m.-7 p.m., you don't get 2 hours off from work if you have a 9-5 shift. However, if you're on a 7-7 or 8:30-5:30 or something like that, they do have to give you time to vote. It's not just the right thing to do. It's the law.

Don't let this election pass you by. It's a big one. If you don't think so, just watch the reaction of Wall Street in the next week and a half.

Sarah Palin as Sarah Palin

Wow. Just came across this. I thought Tina Fey did a funnier Sarah Palin. But I've changed my mind. This proves Sarah Palin makes a funnier Sarah Palin. She got punk'd by a Canadian comedian on this prank call. Check it out:

Another great 'SNL' skit

Once again, John McCain shows the candidate he could have been (positive) and Tina Fey shows she's an even better Palin than Sarah. What's "Saturday Night Live" gonna do when the election's over Tuesday?

Click here to see John McCain's appearance on "SNL" Saturday.

More fire photos

Be sure to go see the extensive stunning photo galley from the Ledger-Enquirer by clicking here.

Bibb Mill in flames

You certainly can't tell anything from the horrible cell phone picture I took from Second Avenue around 2 a.m., but the historic Bibb Mill was totally engulfed in flames as I was coming home from work after a very long, late shift at the newspaper. Things were exploding as I drove past. Definitely the biggest fire I've ever seen.

Update: REAL PHOTOS from my co-workers are now on the newspaper's Web site, where the story will be updated throughout the day and evening.

Chilly Philly

The fans and players alike looked miserable during the five and a half innings of World Series Game 5 in Philadelphia, which was suspended with the score tied at 2-2 between the Tampa Bay Rays and Philadelphia Phillies. It was rainy, cold and windy. Perhaps they need to go back to a 154-game schedule so that the postseason doesn't stretch quite as far into the cold season. The final innings of Game 5 were to be played tonight, but now they've been postponed until Wednesday. The Phillies could win it all in a game that began Monday and ends Wednesday. Let's hope not. I'm rooting for the Rays.

The suspension also disrupted my workout last night at the gym. It was the perfect situation. I was the only one there and had all the equipment and the four TVs to myself. I had one on the World Series, one on Monday Night Football and one on ESPN News. As I told our executive editor a little while ago, if there just some nekkid people on the other TV, it'd been a guy's paradise.

He told me to shut up. He does that a lot.

Photo by Steve Falk/Philadelphia Daily News

R.I.P., JB

We bid farewell to my old childhood friend and high school buddy Jay Bentley in Warner Robins on Saturday. He'd been in the Army for the past 14 years and had recently become an Army recruiter. He was killed when he ran a stop sign that may or may not have been highly visible according to this story.

Jay was a tennis teammate and lived just a few houses down the street from me. During the second half of my senior year, he pretty much lived by himself while his very sweet mother was dealing with health issues out of town. We didn't throw too many wild parties there, but it did kind of serve as a home base for misbehavior for a while, though nothing too bad. My other cohort that senior year, Travis Burnam, died 10 years ago.

Few things are more sad than going to a funeral where a parent sees their child laid to rest, whether that child is a true kid or a 39-year-old like Jay. And military funerals with the guns and "Taps" always remind me of the first funeral I recall, when my World War II veteran grandfather was laid to rest.

So I felt kind of weird going from there to meeting another friend from way back when, Shane, at a Buffalo's Cafe to watch the Georgia-LSU game. Quite a change of gears for me and Shane, whom I bumped into at the visitation. But I think even a die-hard Auburn fan like Jay would appreciate the tribute we two rabid Bulldog fans paid to him during the viewing party.

War Eagle, buddy.

Song of the South?

As I'm writing this, there's a live feed on CNN.com of McCain supporters waiting to hear him speak in Denver. In the auditorium, they're playing Alabama's "Song of the South." You know, with its lyrics of "Daddy was a veteran, a Southern Democrat.They oughta get a rich man to vote like that," might not be the smartest choice of music.

Very misleading ad

I hope there's no one gullible enough to swallow the Democrats' TV advertisement slamming Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.) for supporting a 23 percent national sales tax. The ad, which is funded by the Democraric Party and not by Chambliss' opponent, Jim Martin, implies that this 23 percent is on top of business-as-usual. Chambliss merely supported the Fair Tax, which would be a national sales tax of, yes, 23 percent. But the ad fails to mention that such a tax would completely eliminate the national income tax.

I kind of like the Fair Tax myself, but I don't buy as much as most folks. But I have a big problem with any ad playing to the ignorance and fear of the electorate, whether it's this ad from the Democrats or the McCain campaign's tasteless robocalls implying Obama cavorts with terrorists.

Click here to read more about the sales tax ads.

Sarah Palin on 'SNL'

After seeing a video of Sarah Palin's appearance on "Saturday Night Live" and seeing John McCain speak at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, I'm starting to think that if McCain and Palin had been less obsessed with negativity and pandering to the grouchy bitter right-wingers, they might have had a chance in the presidential election. Check out this video of Palin's good performance on 'SNL':

Their funny side

Presidential candidates Sens. Barack Obama and John McCain showed their funny sides last night at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner at New York's Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. It's too bad they can't trade such good humor and fun-natured barbs on the campaign trail. Anyway, it's just good to see they're actually human. Sometimes we forget. It's also much more in McCain's nature to make points with humor ... one of the reasons his humorless campaign is failing. And while Obama probably won each debate, McCain probably won this comedic showdown. Check out the videos and decide for yourself. They were both funny ... for a change.

My favorite line from Obama noted that his middle name was obviously given by parents who didn't think he'd run for president some day. He also announced that his middle name is actually Steve.

Check out the videos for yourself.

My yearbook photos

Some of you don't know this, but it took me a long, long time to complete high school ... as evidenced by these yearbook photos of me through the years.

1952

1956

1964


1970 ("Yeah, baby! Yeah")

1974

1976

1978

1984

1994

Go here for your old, old yearbook photos.

Marcia? Marcia? Marcia!!!

Apparently Marcia Brady wasn't the goody-two-shoes we all thought she was. Drugs. Sex. Sex-for-drugs. She even almost got it on with her TV brother Greg ... and wanted to with her TV dad. For a girl who managed to get Davy Jones to play her high school prom, Maureen McCormick's had a tough life, and she's telling all in a new book out today.

Thanks for bursting the bubble of my childhood fantasies, Maureen McCormick. Next you're gonna tell me that girls really don't have huge pillow fights at their slumber parties. No, wait, don't tell me.

Read more about Maureen McCormick's past, including why Jan still hates her, and see a video here.

Bush on the economy

For the first time since his deer-in-the-headlights speech to the nation on the bailout, President Bush spoke Friday from the White House to reassure everybody that the economy will be just fine. He's been making such comments for at least three years, which is about how long the entire rest of the nation has known the economy is screwed. Official recession, depression, whatever? Who knows? But screwed? Everyone can see that. Well, almost everyone.

Here's a short clip of President Bush's statement from the White House on Friday:

5 reasons to kayak at Whitewater in Oglethorpe

1. When I showed up Tuesday at the park with my kayak, the superintendent looked at me as if I'd arrived with a spaceship. This leads me to believe it's not a hot spot among kayakers, which means loner kayakers like me can find some peace and quiet. Actually, I was the only person in any type of boat this day. Sweet.

2. I know the place. I grew up camping and fishing out there. My grandmother went to church there. I played on the playgrounds there as a kid. Even smooched with a few girls out there without any charges being pressed (as far as I know). I like exploring new places in my kayak, but there's something to be said for familiar territory, too. It's all about balance.

3. As the sign shown above at the boat ramp indicates, you're not gonna be bothered by personal watercraft and speeding boats. Nothing wrong with those. If I strike it rich, I'll have me a lake house somewhere with some of my own. But naturally beautiful and peaceful spots like this should be reasonably undisturbed. There are places to cut up and places to chill out and places to do both. If only everyone could tell them apart.

4. Because you don't have to worry about speeding watercraft, you can assume a more relaxed paddling approach, as evidenced by the photo below. You can even carry cell phones and digital cameras with you.

5. When you get through kayaking, you can eat at some of the best restaurants in Georgia in a 30-mile radius ... Troy's Snack Shack and Yoder's Deutsch Haus in Montezuma; Oglethorpe Barbecue Co. in Guess Where; The Pizza Place in Ellaville; Justin's Place in Butler; and The Station, Forsyth Bar & Grill, Pat's Place and Monroe's in Americus to name a few. Not to mention there's no better (or cheaper) way to fuel yourself for an excursion on the water than with a morning stop at Grover's Grits where their motto is stated on the sign outside: "Order what you want; eat what you get."

Enough disappointment to go around

Now THIS just might be the most depressing story of the economic disaster so far. Even more depressing than knowing your tax dollars are being used in a bailout that will facilitate further mismanagement, much like giving your drunk relative $500 to get him through as he promises to do better.

Another disappointing thing is see gas prices barely nudge down as oil prices tumble. Remember when oil prices would go up and gas prices would reflect it immediately. The industry said they were just at the mercy of the markets. So why are gas prices not going down proportionally as they did going up? See, now there are all sorts of "other factors" besides the price of oil at play. Awfully convenient.

No shaving

A lot of people make snide comments because I don't put a razor to my face anymore. I'm not conforming to that clean-shaven look anymore. I'll trim it up every now and then, but I've got a baby face, and when I shave, I look like a 12-year-old. Anyway, I don't think my scruffy look is too bad, do you?

567889583625374869708078675645362894905 ...

Mathematicians at UCLA claim they have discovered a 13-million-digit prime number, the latest great scientific discovery in a nation that can't make a vehicle that runs efficiently off anything but gasoline. Well, at least we know why UCLA can't seem to win football games anymore; they don't have their priorities straight.

I'm not sure I buy their claim, though. I mean, ask them what it is, and they can't even tell you. If they can repeat it to me, I vow to make it my new PIN at the ATM. Hope you don't get behind me at the machine in that case.

Read about this really, really big number here. It may come in handy. It's likely to be the size of the federal deficit soon.

Breaking (wind) news

I'm so relieved to see that a West Virginia man will no longer face battery charges after being accused of passing gas and then waving the fumes toward police officers while he was being detained following a DUI arrest.

According to the original Associated Press story, the police said that Jose A. Cruz, 34, scooted his chair toward a patrolman, lifted his leg and ‘‘passed gas loudly.’’

‘‘The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons,’’ the complaint alleged.

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn’t move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.

‘‘I couldn’t hold it no more,’’ he said.

You can read about it here, and who wouldn't want to?

In other flatulence news ...

* Jessica Simpson apparently ate the wrong meal before a show in Niagara Falls recently. But don't fret. She says her flatulence "smells like roses." I'll take her word for it.

* Then there's this clip of NFL analyst John Clayton appearing on ESPN's SportsCenter. Oh, the joys of live TV.

* And from the high-tech world of mobile farts is this story about the Pull My Finger application that Apple rejected for its iPhone. According to Beta News, it's an application that produces five or six sounds of human flatulence (and you thought it was embarrassing when you got a phone call in the middle of a meeting now). It got rebuffed not on the basis of offensive content, but on grounds that it is "of limited utility to the broad iPhone and iPod touch user community."

Stay tuned for the latest, breaking ppppplllrrrbbbtttttss here.

The great kazoo

No, not The Great Gazoo from "The Flintstones."

They're gonna try to set a world record for kazoo playing in Macon on Thursday night. Not for best kazoo playing or longest kazoo playing, but most kazoo players at once. This is either something you really want to be a part of or stay really far away from. I think I'd stay away, even though I can play kazoo almost as well as I play guitar. I even missed a wedding of fellow journalists here once because they had the attendees play "Here Comes the Bride" on kazoos. OK, I missed it because I hate going to wedding and funerals. Or is that redundant?

Hmm, I wonder if I can get folks at my funeral to play Buster Poindexter's "Hot Hot Hot" on kazoos.

You can read more about the even in my old friend Ed Grisamore's column in our sister paper, the Macon Telegraph.

NO!!!!

This gonna come as quite a shock to some people, but Clay Aiken, the effeminate one-time "American Idol" runner-up, is gay. I know, I wouldn't have believed it myself, but he says so right here. He chose to make this announcement upon becoming a father, something he apparently had a lot of help with.

I don't care, you know, "not that there's anything wrong with that." It's not like I was waiting for Clay Aiken to star in something real macho, like a "Conan the Barbarian" remake or something. I just always wondered if Clay Aiken knew he was gay ... kinda like those guys you went to high school with who thought they were straight but everyone else knew were gay. And then you find out 20 years later that they finally figured it out, too.

Interesting fella

You've probably never heard of Matt Simmons, but few people in the world know more about the world's only-gonna-get-worse oil crisis and addiction. Instead of trying to score political points with offshore drilling or fuel efficiency increases of 15 or 20 MPG, politicians, corporate leaders and the general public better heed guys like this. Learn more about him in this well-done Fortune article.

Sweet dreams

It seems more married couples are sleeping separately. Not in a "Go sleep on the sofa, you jerk!" sort of way, but in the sense of getting a better night's sleep. I'm not sure it's such a bad idea. Maybe I can get bunk beds again, like I had when I was 12. I just thank goodness I've got a king-size bed. But if I sleep along, what am I gonna prop my legs on at night?

You can read about it here.

No more -gate

Ever since Watergate, people think they can attach "gate" to any controversy. Irangate. Spygate. I Twisted My Ankle At The Mall-Gate. The latest is Sarah Palin's Troopergate.

Stop it! It's lame and lazy. As for Troopergate, I don't care if she abused her power in pushing to have her ex-brother-in-law fired. He needed firing. Forget that. Worry about whether you're comfortable with the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant's Miss Congeniality being one heartbeat away from being leader of the Free World.

You've got a couple of people with limited experience in this election -- Palin and Obama. Are you gonna go with the one with the gifted IQ or the one who can see Russia from their house? Experience, and/or lack thereof, is relative.

So?

Just caught a glimpse of the local TV news (with apologies to my TV journalist friends, a glimpse is about all I ever catch of it.). Anyway, at the top of the news were a couple of stories about local gas stations being robbed. Well, at least they know how we feel now.

Barnes storming outta here

Brad Barnes, a talented pop culture writer here at the paper is moving on to the normal world. His last day at the Ledger-Enquirer is tomorrow. You can read his blog, Barnes Storming, by clicking here.

He's my age and came to the paper not long after I did. I'm starting to feel stranded as dozens of co-workers have come and gone since I started here. There are a few veterans still here and a lot of young journalists. But there aren't many of us still in the middle, straddling that line between idealistic journalist and cynical realist. Think I'm walking that line alone.

Good luck, Brad, in your real job.

Recession? Try depression

In some people's naive eyes, the U.S. economy is "fundamentally strong" (even though there's not one positive aspect of it nor a single driving force out there that could bring it back except for a clean, cheap energy discovery). I'm no economist, but I've got enough common sense to know that neither optimism nor the same ol' same ol' will bring it back. You've got to get off oil, pure and simple, and the rest will follow. Drilling for more will just feed the addiction so that we can keep repeating crises. No thank you. Amazing that the only industry doing will is the one with a finite future. No matter how many places you drill, it remains a finite resource.

Anyway, I was just wondering if we're still building that fence between us and Mexico. If so, we might want to make sure we all have a key in case we all have to go try to find work south of the border. And don't blame Canada if they start building one between us and them.

Tina Fey does Sarah Palin

Wow, after seeing this clip, I'm not sure Tina Fey and Sarah Palin aren't the same person.

Holy crap!

You know, if a suspect in a high-speed car chase crashed into my house and knocked me off the toilet, I just might leave that last part out when police asked where I was at the time.

Yep, this really happened. Click here.

Wanna feel stupid? Check this out!

Have you read about the massive particle collider that's now operational in a tunnel beneath the border of Switzerland and France? The European Organization for Nuclear Research's ongoing project to learn more about the origins of the universe, dark matter and other dimensions could lead to the greatest discoveries since man discovered fire. Critics, however, worry the scientists' project could result in the creation of black holes that could swallow our planet and eventually the rest of the universe.

Does make you wonder if we're on the verge of discovering new dimensions and the origin of the universe, then why can't we find an alternative to oil? These geniuses oughta be able to know that problem out in a week or two. Priorities, people.

Speaking as a guy who's idea of scientific experiments don't go beyond a Mentos and some Diet Coke, I guess I'll just sit back and see how it all plays out. But for the record: Other dimensions, cool. Black holes, uncool. That's all I've got to say about it. Y'all be careful. Here's an excerpt from today's Associated Press article:

Scientists hope to eventually send two beams of protons through two tubes about the width of fire hoses, speeding through a vacuum that is colder and emptier than outer space. The paths of these beams will cross, and a few protons will collide. The collider's two largest detectors — essentially huge digital cameras weighing thousands of tons — are capable of taking millions of snapshots a second.

The CERN experiments could reveal more about "dark matter," antimatter and possibly hidden dimensions of space and time. It could also find evidence of the hypothetical particle — the Higgs boson — which is sometimes called the "God particle" because it is believed to give mass to all other particles, and thus to matter that makes up the universe.

You can read the entire article here. It's also all over the Web.

Scary numbers

I recently read that a Gallup poll found that more than half of Americans believe the right-wing propaganda that Barack Obama "wants to raise your taxes." Well, yes, if you make $227,000 or more, indeed, he wants to raise them, or at least restore them to Clinton-era levels -- you know, back when the economy was strong.

In case you're interested in facts, here are the average numbers on what you'll see from the tax hikes and cuts under the Obama and McCain plans, according to the nonpartisan Tax Policy Center:

Income..............................Obama.....................McCain
$0-$19,000 ..............................$567 less....................$19 less
$19,000-$38,000....................$892 less....................$113 less
$38,000-$66,000....................$1,042 less................$319 less
$66,000-$112,000..................$1,290 less................$1,009 less
$112,000-$227,000................$2,300 less...............$3,200 less
$227,000-more.......................$23,000 more...........$15,000 less

McCain's ads state that Obama want to raise taxes on working class Americans. Apparently McCain considers only the top 5 percent of Americans working class because the bottom 95 percent would see their taxes cut under Obama's plan. However, it should be noted that neither plan is fiscally responsible, because over 10 years, Obama's would increase the national debt by about $3.5 trillion and McCain's by even more than that. So, vote for whom you want and whatever issues concern you, but don't fall for the rhetoric from either side. The whole "tax and spend" label is not only worn out, but it's a lie.

I still think all Gallup polls should come with the following disclaimer: 90 percent of people polled were complete idiots.

A recently updated report of the Tax Policy Center's analysis can be found by clicking here.

Men remain sexist, politically incorrect slime update

Attention all men: Do not notice what Republican vice presidential candidate Gov. Sarah Palin, R-Alaska, looks like. Do not say that she was only put on the ticket to steal a few whiny disgruntled Hillary Clinton supporters or undecided hockey moms. Don't call her more eye candy for Sen. John McCain. And, by all means, do not describe her look as a "sexy librarian" look.

Instead, focus on her policies, assuming someone eventually points them out. Perhaps you should note her vehement opposition to sex education, but don't note the irony that she has an unwed, knocked-up 17-year-old daughter. Or how she doesn't believe in global warming.

I know it's politically correct for me to join the legions of men scared to even talk about Palin around women, but I'm not much for political correctness. She's a good looking lady. Sorry, I've noticed the obvious. I think Sen. Joe Biden will fry her in the VP debate, but I hope she gets more camera time. Sue me.

Is there a double-standard? Perhaps. Then again, I think women talk about men perhaps more than men talk about women. Don't forget there's an Obama Girl out there. Men are visual creatures -- creatures being the key word there. We can't help it; it's in our genes.

Let me just go on the record and say that to combat the double standard, women are allowed to talk about how devastatingly handsome I am when I run for president. Hopefully, women will be able to get over their fashion discrimination by then and elect a president in flip-flops.

Anyway, the more I hear about this, the more I think about my late Grandma Julia, as Christian a woman as you could ever meet. Yet, anytime President Reagan came on the TV, she'd say, "Mmm, mmm, that's a good looking man right there."

"Grandma!"

See this discussion of how Palin's looks are not important and men are still slime on CNN's "Showbiz Tonight."

Let's be friends, just friends

A woman friend randomly asked for my opinion on this question today (I think she was polling): "Do you think a man and a woman can just be friends?"

Talk about your loaded question. The politically correct answer she was looking for was, "Why yes, of course." But I decided since she thinks I'm a moron anyway to just give her the truth. Later, I found these clips from "When Harry Met Sally," a film that explored the whole subject. In these two scenes, Billy Crystal pretty much echoed what I had to say. Even though this is a chick flick, I love this movie. Ironically, based on my views, the last time I saw it all the way through was with a 100 percent platonic female friend. Seriously. Which I guess blows my whole argument. But I'm married, so that doesn't count. Refer to scene two for that question.

Do you agree with Billy/Harry/Me or do you choose to believe the untrue opposite? Check out the clips. The expression on Meg Ryan's face is priceless. I see it a lot.

When you're not, you're not

Jerry Reed died this morning at the age of 71 due to complications from emphysema. He was one of my favorite guys in music, a good ol' Georgia boy who never tried to be more than what he was — in music or in acting. One of my favorite easy songs to strum on the guitar is "The Bandit" from "Smokey and the Bandit," in which he also starred. Stupid movie, yes, but stupid fun. I couldn't play "East Bound and Down" in a million years of guitar lessons. The man was well known as one of the best guitar players in Nashville long before he ever had a hit.

I saw Jerry Reed in concert at the Cherry Blossom Festival in Macon around 1990 or 1991. I was there with my future wife (my current one, in case that's not clear) and a couple of friends. There were several acts on various stages, including the Indigo Girls very nearby ... and act that interested neither I nor, apparently, Jerry Reed. In the middle of his concert, he stopped and asked of the sounds invading his concert area: "What the hell is that?"

Of course, that concert will always be remembered by my wife as the one where I forgot to guard her Port-O-Potty door. Ooops!

You can listen to a good many Jerry Reed songs for free by clicking here.