Tina Fey does Sarah Palin

Wow, after seeing this clip, I'm not sure Tina Fey and Sarah Palin aren't the same person.

Men remain sexist, politically incorrect slime update

Attention all men: Do not notice what Republican vice presidential candidate Gov. Sarah Palin, R-Alaska, looks like. Do not say that she was only put on the ticket to steal a few whiny disgruntled Hillary Clinton supporters or undecided hockey moms. Don't call her more eye candy for Sen. John McCain. And, by all means, do not describe her look as a "sexy librarian" look.

Instead, focus on her policies, assuming someone eventually points them out. Perhaps you should note her vehement opposition to sex education, but don't note the irony that she has an unwed, knocked-up 17-year-old daughter. Or how she doesn't believe in global warming.

I know it's politically correct for me to join the legions of men scared to even talk about Palin around women, but I'm not much for political correctness. She's a good looking lady. Sorry, I've noticed the obvious. I think Sen. Joe Biden will fry her in the VP debate, but I hope she gets more camera time. Sue me.

Is there a double-standard? Perhaps. Then again, I think women talk about men perhaps more than men talk about women. Don't forget there's an Obama Girl out there. Men are visual creatures -- creatures being the key word there. We can't help it; it's in our genes.

Let me just go on the record and say that to combat the double standard, women are allowed to talk about how devastatingly handsome I am when I run for president. Hopefully, women will be able to get over their fashion discrimination by then and elect a president in flip-flops.

Anyway, the more I hear about this, the more I think about my late Grandma Julia, as Christian a woman as you could ever meet. Yet, anytime President Reagan came on the TV, she'd say, "Mmm, mmm, that's a good looking man right there."

"Grandma!"

See this discussion of how Palin's looks are not important and men are still slime on CNN's "Showbiz Tonight."

Monty Python's Life of Bleep

I got bleeped in my latest TV commentary. I've had columns pulled by editors a few times over the years, been told I had to change a word or two and had to yank paragraphs, but that's my first on-air bleep. It was a little surprising because it was a mere tongue-in-cheek comment referring to right-wingers' strange, overwhelming hatred for Hillary Clinton. I said it doesn't matter "if Hillary Clinton is Satan's daughter. Who her daddy is shouldn't matter at this point." The word "Satan" got bleeped. I didn't know Satan was a dirty word. You can catch my bleeped commentary here.

Speaking of censorship, I watched a great documentary from Britain's Channel 4 on YouTube today about the controversy surrounding Monty Python's "Life of Brian," which I think is the funniest movie ever made and is in my Top 10 movies of all-time. When I first saw it back in the 1980s, I recognized the brilliant religious satire was not something everyone can appreciate, but had no idea how upset religious zealots got about it in the late 1970s. If you tried to make that movie now, they would be even worse, though, because our society is so hyper-sensitive about possibly offending anyone. But as one of the guys points out in the documentary, if your religion can't handle having a little bit of fun poked at it, it ain't much of a religion.

I respect the Monty Python guys for having the guts to tackle it and George Harrison for funding it. It's evidence that sacred cows make the best hamburgers.

There are oodles of "Life of Brian" clips on YouTube and if you search wisely, you can watch the entire movie in 9 parts, approximately 10 minutes each. You can find the five parts of the documentary by clicking here.

Week in Review 13

• One-time "American Idol" runner-up Clay Aiken reportedly gets into an altercation with a female passenger on a flight to Tulsa Saturday. However, it turns out he was merely yelling at the mirror.
• NASA has agreed to pay $19 million for a Russian-built toilet system for the international space station. The space agency is now negotiating with France for a $1 million fuzzy seat cover.
• San Francisco science experiment Barry Bonds decides he won't compete in the All-Star Game's Home Run Derby. Because, really, why would the guy who's about to break the all-time home run record want to do something positive for the fans in San Francisco, the only fans who don't boo him ... though they should.
• President Bush commutes the prison sentence of convicted scapegoat Scooter Libby. Democrats cry foul and Republicans cringe, but right-wing talking heads note that in 1995, President Clinton tore the tag off a mattress and wasn't punished.
• Another report comes out that says Americans are amazingly fat. Many Americans see the report while eating Big Macs and french fries at McDonald's.
• In a related story, American Joey Chestnut inhales 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes to win the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. It brings forth the greatest gush of American pride since man walked on the moon.
• Kidnapped BBC reporter Alan Johnston thanks Hamas for winning his freedom from al-Qaida-inspired militants after 16 weeks of solitary confinement in a dark room, an experience he said was "like being buried alive." Thank goodness for peace-loving, rational groups like Hamas.
• Little Billy Joe Turnipseed of Bibb City is charged with possessing dangerous illegal-in-Georgia fireworks that he purchased in Phenix City. Told by cops to stop using the fireworks before someone got hurt, he gave cops the finger. Police still don't know whose finger it is.
• Evidence that doctors are at the heart of a British terrorist plot has some doctors furious. They argue that any doctors killing people ought to do it the old-fashioned way ... with the help of HMOs and insurance companies.
• America's so-called first "YouTube Election" appears headed in the wrong direction when front-runner Hillary Clinton is supplanted at the top by four fraternity brothers firing bottle rockets from their butts.
• Republican presidential contender Mitt Romney, who rails against the "cesspool" of pornography, is being criticized by social conservatives who argue that he should have tried to halt hardcore hotel movie offerings during his near-decade on the Marriott board. Meanwhile, social liberals also complain, saying those movies are way too expensive.
• Security forces besieging a radical mosque in the Pakistani capital capture its top cleric -- Maulana Abdul "Uncle Milty" Aziz as he tries to sneak out in women's clothes.

Week in review 7

• ABC announces its fall lineup will include the sitcom "Cavemen," based on the cavemen from the Geico commercials, leaving Americans to ask the question they never thought they'd ask: "Whatever happened to good ol' reality TV?"
• The start of the Stanley Cup Finals is delayed when the Ottawa Senators can't get their puck out of a subcommittee.
• Gas prices soar over $3, meaning the poor, helpless oil companies who are merely at the mercy of world markets will likely suffer another quarter of record profits, much to their great dismay.
• The Internal Revenue Service does a poor job in identifying tax-exempt groups that may have links to terrorists, according to a report released Friday. However, researchers are relieved to find that the IRS has no problem whatsoever in tracking down hard-working members of the middle class over "questionable" $12 deductions.
• Ratings fall 19 percent over the previous year for the "American Idol" finale, in which Jordin Sparks (Who was Carl Weathers' stunt double in "Rocky II") won the title. This gives hope that America's long, national nightmare may soon be over.
• Florida moves up its primary to Jan. 29, bypassing other states who've moved up to Feb. 5. However, Florida is then trumped by Ohio, which decides to hold its primary five minutes from now.
• Dario Franchitti wins a rain-shortened Indy 500, the highlight of which was seeing his rain-soaked and barefoot wife Ashley Judd in the winner's circle. Driving about 40 mph on the final lap, Franchitti and the other drivers are passed on the final lap by 95-year-old Wanda Mae Perkins, who was on her way to the grocery store. Perkins is disqualified for making an obscene gesture at the slow Indy drivers.
• On a weekend traditionally reserved for marking the sacrifices of our nation's fallen military heroes, Americans unite to pray for two lost whales in the Sacramento River. Fortunately, the two whales are supplanted by "The View's" Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck as the two dumbest mammals on the planet.
• In a video posted on YouTube, Hillary Rodham Clinton asks viewers to pick her campaign theme song. Options range from U2's "Beautiful Day" to Smash Mouth's version of "I'm a Believer" to Celine Dion's "You and I." Tammy Wynette's "Stand by Your Man" is not an option.