Due to an influx of terrorists who've killed innocent people in the name of Allah, Hell has become overcrowded, taxing its resources. In an announcement this morning, Satan said Hell will now outsource all of its operations to the Georgia Department of Driver Services, with the Columbus office taking the lead.
"The Columbus office is a lot like Hell anyway," said Satan, trying to put a positive spin on the situation. "The buildings even look the same. But when you get through the long line to finally reach the door of Hell, there's no air-conditioning inside. About the only difference. I assure you that condemned souls can count on the same brutal torture they've come to expect from Hell."
Hell's stock plunged $1.75 on the Hades Stock Exchange following the announcement.
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