Ledger Lounge with Sonya Sorich

We used to do some cutting up and goofing off with our video dude at the paper, Joe Paull. That was put on hold for a while, but now we've got the Ledger Lounge with nightlife diva Sonya Sorich. She does a great job with it, and y'all need to check it out. Especially today ... it's her birthday. She manages to squeeze that tidbit of info into the latest Ledger Lounge.

Check out the video section by clicking here.

Song played to death

I'm a huge Jimmy Buffett fan, but I've heard the song "Margaritaville" enough. He's recorded 200 better songs. Apparently, these guys in Colorado feel the same, albeit a bit more to the extreme. They allegedly killed a Special Forces soldier for playing "Margaritaville" on the jukebox. That's gonna probably seem like a pretty dumb idea as they spend the rest of their lives in prison.

Read about it here.

Not running with the Heard

Some of you who know me well know that I sure wouldn't mind getting my grubby little hands on a piece of waterfront property, especially on Lake Blackshear or the Flint River. I thought about heading over to Lake Oliver, one of my kayaking grounds, this morning to bid on the $18 million Bill Heard estate. Unfortunately, I don't think the $1.57 I managed to scrape up between the cushions in my SUV was gonna make me much of a player. Read more about how the auction very expectedly went at the Ledger-Enquirer's Web site. Normally it makes me sick to see someone's property auctioned off or a bank twisting people's arms. Strangely enough, this one's not bothering me.
Ledger-Enquirer photos

3-D battle for No. 1

Here's a novel way to watch the BCS National Championship game between No. 1 Oklahoma and No. 2 Florida on Jan. 8.

Carmike Cinemas will be showing the game in many of its digital-capable theaters live in 3-D. I didn't even know you could show any live events in 3-D. In Georgia, Carmike will be showing it at theaters in Savannah, Conyers and at Columbus' Carmike 15. You can also catch it in Fernandina Beach, Fla., Bradenton, Fla., and Mobile, Ala., among other places nationwide.

I, however, think they need to show the game in 4-D, you know, like they have in some theme parks where the seats move and other things make it seem even more real than 3-D.

They could spray water at you when the Gators' defense knocks the sweat off Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford and they could shake your seat when Florida quarterback Tim Tebow barrels his way through the line of scrimmage. And since the game is in Miami, they could make the theater a little warmer and more muggy than usual.

Return to the chicken house

We returned to an abandoned chicken house in Macon County on Saturday night to get down and dirty with old friends from back home. OK, I didn't get down too much because I was the designated driver, but we had a great time. Glad guitar prodigy Lance Price was able to make it down to join Gravel Road for a few songs, too. I'll probably write more about the experience in Sunday's newspaper because that red dirt from back home sure sticks with you for a while. Thank goodness. This just might become an annual thing.

Pictured below are the entertaining R&B act Hillmon (including the bass barrel drummer) and Southern rockers Gravel Road.

The Year in Preview

I don't know how many years I've been doing this, but my annual Year in Preview is now online ... in case you were wondering what all is gonna happen in 2009. You can read it here.

So this is Christmas

For all that's bad about this economy, there are silver linings. Gas prices are down, people can make a fortune with the right buys in the stock market now, and people are a little more appreciative of what really matters in life instead of 54-inch televisions and expensive cars and mansions. I rather like that this Christmas seemed a little less materialistic than, well, most Christmases since the early 1980s.

I'm OK with that. Of course, I have simple tastes. Give me a couple of palm trees, a hammock, a loyal dog, a pair of flip-flops, fun friends, good family and some spare change at the end of the week, and I don't need much else.

So, I can go ahead and declare this Best Christmas Ever on my end. My son didn't ask for much at all and got more than he asked for. He agrees it's the Best Christmas Ever.

And, quite frankly, that's about all that matters to me at the end of the day.

Headphones

For anyone who may be confused at work, when the headphones are on, it doesn't mean I want to be closer to my music. I want to be left alone. So I can work. Believe it or not, I do that sometimes.

Bluetooth bozo update!

Annoying Bluetooth bozo was at the gym again tonight, and, again, talked constantly. This would be the night the battery gives out on my MP3 player and I have to hear his hourlong conversation. And what's he talking about? Working out. He talks about working on his chest and his shoulders. He talks about how this and that tighten your abs. He suggests the idiot on the other end of the conversation get some Creatine like he does. He counts reps. All this over the phone. I swear I've seen this guy only twice in my life, on back-to-back nights. I believe the God of Annoyance is angry with me.

Click here for an important public service announcement about this issue.

Bluetooth bozo

I find Bluetooths annoying. Really, how constantly attached to other people do you have to be to endure having a phone attached to your ear just in case you're lucky enough to get a call from another human? Oh joy! So, if you own one, sorry.

But I'm sure you can't possibly be as annoying as the Bluetooth-wearing goofball at the gym tonight who talked off and on throughout his workout. It was almost midnight when I got to the 24-hour gym, so I was hoping to have the place to myself. I was disappointed enough to find another guy there, but then the guy had to make it worse by talking constantly. It was a half hour before I figured out he wasn't insane and talking to himself. Instead, he was merely annoying. He even counted his reps to the person on the other end, who must be the most bored human on the planet.

It reminded me of a scene from Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm." It's the kind of thing I would do. Check it out below (The clip does have typical "Curb" R-rated language):

Cokenomics

Coke is relieving the economic pressures of the nation by offering the best diet drink ever, Coke Zero, for just 99 cents. Sounds like a great deal until you see the bottle is a measly 16 ounces. Granted, our grandparents could get through a whole day with an 8-ounce bottle of Coca-Cola, but we're the Big Gulp generation. We super-size our fries and at the movies we buy tubs of popcorn that we could live in should we become homeless.

I can't find a dadgum 20-ounce bottle of Coke Zero now to save my life. Give a caffeine addict a break! I'm stuck with nasty Diet Pepsi or Pepsi One. And by the way, Coke Zero has zero calories and Pepsi One has one calorie. Come on, PepsiCo, step it up and knock out that last calorie! You can do it!

I've never understood soda economics. You go into a convenience store (oxymoron alert) and they've got a 20-ounce for $1.35, a 16-ounce for 99 cents or a 2-liter for $1.19. Who else prices like that?

"Yeah, we've got the '74 Pinto for $10,000, the '94 Cavalier for $20,000 and the brand new Porsche for $2,500. What's it gonna be?"

Satanic/Islamic dolls??

I was forwarded an e-mail yesterday from one of my right-wing acquaintances here in Columbus (everyone I know, it seems, is on the left or right ... not in the lonely middle with me.) She's on a lot of TV and radio commercials that start with "Hi, y'all!"

Basically its an e-mail making the conservative rounds about how this cooing, giggling doll sounds like it says "Islam is the light" at some point and later says "Satan is king" or something like that. I, however, think it's a case of hearing what you want to hear or seeing what you want to see. People hear dirty words in "Louie, Louie," hear Satanic messages in Beatles records played backward and see the Virgin Mary in cupcakes. If you're looking for problems, controversies and things to get worked up about, you'll find them. And the e-mail points out that while the Snopes Web site discredited this story, Snopes is run by two people who are "Jewish -- very Democratic (party) and extremely liberal." Oh my God! Jews are on the Web now! First Hollywood, now the Internet!

And these right-wingers are mad about this doll. Never mind that Muslims don't exactly praise Satan. In fact, their version of hell is gruesomely and repeatedly depicted in the Koran, much worse than the description of Jesus' descent into hell in the Christian book of Nicodemus that they edited out of the modern Christian Bible. So if this doll is praising Satan and Islam, it's probably gonna need therapy when it grows up. Or it'll get beheaded by the Taliban or something. I don't believe all religions are created equal and some are more evil than others, but a doll is a doll is a doll. Unless they're inflatable.

As for the doll, I'm going to keep playing with mine despite its efforts to convert me to Islam and Satanism at the same time. I once had a Godzilla "action figure" and I somehow managed to resist its urging me to crush cardboard Japanese villages. And my Darth Vader "action figure" could not lure me to the dark side of the force. However, my Jimmy Buffett "action figure" did manage to talk me into a frozen margarita or two.

Judge for yourself in the video at the top of this post. I once sat through a 15-minute videotape when I worked at the Americus paper in which a reader kept showing us how you could see the Virgin Mary in the trees in his backyard.

"Um, yeah, right."

Thoughts from Atkins' memorial

I was glad to see that Wednesday night's memorial service for old buddy Steve Atkins was nontraditional. Just as he was. There was no formality. No religion. Cool music. Lots of photos. Stories. Tears, but plenty of laughs, too. It's also the first funeral I've ever been to where the F-word was part of a eulogy.

For the record, I want my death to be marked with a luau-style fun party. I want folks to get up and tell stories like they did at SA's service. I want Jimmy Buffett and party music played. I want folks to leave and say they had fun at my memorial service. And, like Steve, I want to be cremated because I don't believe you should be taking up valuable space on this planet if your soul has moved on.

There are lessons to be learned from Steve's death, but there are greater lessons to be learned from his life. SA lived in the moment. I don't mean in the present -- I mean in the very moment. Steve's life was always now, not yesterday or tomorrow. There's something to be said for planning for the future and learning from the past, but we should do more living in today. I'm guiltier of living in the past and fretting about the future than anyone I know.

Speaking of living in the past, one of the speakers was Amy Barker, whom I wrote a column about several years ago, prompting a nice e-mail from her. I can't find that column now, but the gist of it was this:

As a sixth-grader in junior high school, I decided to earn points by telling all the guys that my new girlfriend was the hottest girl in seventh grade ... yes, Amy Barker. I learned a valuable lesson I would apply later in life -- when you decide someone is your girlfriend, you should probably tell them about it. When my "friend" Clete Price got a little suspicious and informed Amy about this, she spoke her first words to me, "Get lost, you creep!" I swear those are the exact words. If Clete could have just kept his big mouth shut, heck, Amy Barker might still be my girlfriend.

After the service, Amy had to have her picture taken with the sixth-grader whose heart and reputation she shattered. It's amazing how something so horrifying at age 11 is so funny at age 38. Also amazing how I remember that and she doesn't. Of course, she didn't get her heart broken.

R.I.P., Steve Atkins

A tough stretch here for Macon County High School's Class of ’88. Steve Atkins, an old friend, classmate and one-time co-worker at good ol’ C-Mart in Oglethorpe, Ga., died Sunday. He was 38. You can find the obit and memorial service info here.

Steve was a tattoo artist and a bass player for rock bands (most recently Gravel Road) and liked to live on the edge a bit, and we weren't much alike, but we got along very well for two very different people. Of course, I guess everyone I know is "different people" from me ... which is good for them. He was also voted "best looking" from our senior class, which also made him "different people" from me. This photo at right comes courtesy of a mutual friend's MySpace page.

My thoughts go out to his family and friends, especially my old pals Shane and Clete, who have been much closer to Steve over the years. See y'all Wednesday night.

Steve, left, with Shane and Jeff during a Gravel Road gig in October.

A free "novel"

Oya's Wake is a "novel" I wrote to keep myself occupied after a car wreck in 2000 kept me out of work for a few weeks. Oya's Wake is about a straight-laced young accountant who gets mixed up in a teenage girl's murder and winds up taking refuge on a rebellious Cuban-American prostitute's sailboat.

You can get the e-book from Amazon here.

Isn't it ironic? Don'tcha think? A little tooooo ironic

Does anyone else find it ironic that the entity to which all these failing companies are turning is more than $10 trillion in debt?

Just curious.

Attn: Christmas-loving Parrotheads

This info comes courtesy of fellow Parrothead Pat Mitchell of Columbus:

Peter Mayer, guitarist/singer/songwriter for Jimmy Buffett's Coral Reefer Band since the very late 1980s, will be performing a Christmas concert Dec. 18 at North Highland Church in Columbus ... you know, the one with that massive prayer tower.

Mayer, whose brother Jim also is a Coral Reefer, does a good bit of Christian music in addition to folk and rock. His song "Suzannah" off the 1996 album "Green-Eyed Radio" is one of my all-time favorite tunes. His Peter Mayer Band had a hit with "Piece of Paradise" in the late ’80s, too.

The show, which is sponsored by Columbus Hospice, will, of course, feature a love offering, and Columbus Hospice is a very worthy cause indeed. I'm not exactly sure what my plans are for that night, and organized religion ain't exactly my cup of tea. But it would be interesting to see Peter Mayer perform in a setting quite different from the drunken debauchery of a Jimmy Buffett concert.

For bios, discography, tour schedule and to sample pretty much every song he's ever recorded, check out Peter Mayer's Web site here. His music is light and sometimes folksy or spiritual, so if you're expecting Parrothead-type music, you'll be disappointed. Although, many of the apparently close-knit Coral Reefers show up on each other's albums so there may be some familiarity.

Just park it

On Thursday, I watched somebody spend over a minute trying to park their giant, gas-guzzling truck into a space at the parking garage while at least three other cars, including mine, were blocked from continuing on their way to another level where we parked like normal people. And just now, I watched a guy struggle to maneuver his vehicle backward into a parking space at the gym. His was the only car in that entire side of the parking lot. It was surrounding by at least 24 empty parking spaces. Getting out was not going to be complicated.

I'm convinced that people who spend all this time parking backward so they can get out easier later actually spend more time doing that than the people who park normally and back out later. Pulling through to an empty space at the mall so you can exit easier is one thing. But, seriously people, backing out of a parking space is not exactly rocket science. And it's a lot easier and less time-consuming than backing into one.

Han Shot First

Like a lot of folks of my advanced age, I grew up watching "Star Wars" movies and collecting the action figures (they're ACTION FIGURES, not dolls!) and playing with my Death Star and Land Speeder toys. But I'm not a "Star Wars" fanatic (with apologies to Cody back home), nor was I ever a Trekkie, referring to fans of that TV series where people explored outer space in their jammies.

Because I wasn't quite deep enough into the series, I never knew what the shirts "Han Shot First" meant in nerd world. And I dared not ask the few people who I knew would know out of fear it would turn into a very long discussion and not a simple explanation. Fortunately, my friend and co-worker Sonya Sorich, succinctly explained it to me briefly yesterday as I designed a newspaper page with her column about NerdaCon, which comes to Columbus State University on Friday and Saturday. I won't be there. If you've ever wondered what "Han Shot First" is referring to, here's a summary of the great controversy.

When good nerds go bad

There's absolutely no way I can explain this story. It seems lurid ... involving affairs, prostitutes and such. But it's a virtual thing. Something called the "Second Life." It's where you live out a simulated life online with online friends, wives, and apparently prostitutes, too. Sorta. Kinda. Oh, heck, I don't know. I don't get it. Click here and see if you can figure out what may or may not be happening.

Pick-n-grin

Spent Friday night watching the Brookstone-Schley County game in Ellaville and then kept heading east to my hometown of Oglethorpe to hear gifted guitarist Lance Price, pictured at right, play an impromptu gig in his parents' backyard. Lance is a popular solo act in metro Atlanta and does a good bit of shows on the road, too. He actually got to perform during the Ryder Cup, too. Hmm, the reasons to hate Lance are piling up. Not only can he play guitar 100 times better than I can dream of doing, but he gets to go to all these cool places. You can check out Lance's Web site by clicking here.

Also pictured and helping this night turn into a good ol' Macon County pick-n-grin are, from left, Jeff Kelley and Jason McKinney. Jason's the lead singer for Gravel Road, a good down-home band you can learn more about here. The first time I caught them was in an abandoned chicken house with a couple hundred folks. They've come a long way since then.

It's fun to hang out with guitarists who can run the gamut of songs from goofy to good. Along with such songs as "Message in a Bottle" "Layla" and "More Than Words," they were able to mix in two Britney Spears songs for fun ("Hit Me Baby One More Time" and "Toxic") and even the freecreditreport.com song. You know the one:

They say a man should always dress for the job he wants so why i am i dressed like a pirate in this restaurant its all because some hacker stole my identity so im here every evening serving chowder and iced tea should have gone to free credit report.com i could have seen this coming at me like an atom bomb they monitor ur credit and send u email alerts so u dont end up serving fish to tourists in t-shirts.

Now that's range. That and bumping into old and new friends made for a fun night.

Also, be sure to check out the Ledger-Enquirer photos gallery from Mike Haskey with some great shots from Friday's night's big game in Ellaville by clicking here.

It's Christmas!

While scanning the presets on my truck's radio yesterday, I was surprised to learn it's Christmas. Well, it is on 95.7 FM anyway. I don't mind this so much on Sunny 100. After all, how many times can you stand to hear Sara Bareilles' "Love Song" being run into the ground? But 95.7 plays a lot of 80s retro stuff, or as you younger folks would call them, oldies. I don't feel old enough to call them that. I'll miss that station because it's going off my presets until January.

Election thoughts

I don't think anyone could have watched the clinching moments of the presidential election and not be a little emotional about the historical significance of Obama and his family going into the White House. Until last night, the cultural impact of this was of no concern to me. I was focused on the economic issues. But it was a little overwhelming last night when the impact hit me like a ton of bricks. Definitely a great moment to witness.

A not-so-great moment was going to a couple precincts like many others from the newspaper to collect voting results as soon as possible from local races. As they posted the numbers, I combed through the write-ins and saw that in various races God, Pee-Wee Herman, Kobe Bryant, Method Man, Jay-Z and the usual Mickey Mouse got their votes and my personal favorite write-in of the night, Don. Don who? I dunno.

That's a lot funnier in a special election no one cares about and draws 10 percent of voters. But in a historical election where people come out in droves and wait in long lines to cast serious ballots, it's pretty insensitive to add to the wait with selfishness and immaturity.

Vote today

If you can't seem to squeeze a trip to the polls into your work schedule today, take this to work with you.

Georgia law:

21-2-404. Affording employees time off to vote

Each employee in this state shall, upon reasonable notice to his or her employer, be permitted by his or her employer to take any necessary time off from his or her employment to vote in any municipal, county, state, or federal political party primary or election for which such employee is qualified and registered to vote on the day on which such primary or election is held; provided, however, that such necessary time off shall not exceed two hours; and provided, further, that, if the hours of work of such employee commence at least two hours after the opening of the polls or end at least two hours prior to the closing of the polls, then the time off for voting as provided for in this Code section shall not be available. The employer may specify the hours during which the employee may absent himself or herself as provided in this Code section.

Quite simply, this means that with the polls being open 7 a.m.-7 p.m., you don't get 2 hours off from work if you have a 9-5 shift. However, if you're on a 7-7 or 8:30-5:30 or something like that, they do have to give you time to vote. It's not just the right thing to do. It's the law.

Don't let this election pass you by. It's a big one. If you don't think so, just watch the reaction of Wall Street in the next week and a half.

Sarah Palin as Sarah Palin

Wow. Just came across this. I thought Tina Fey did a funnier Sarah Palin. But I've changed my mind. This proves Sarah Palin makes a funnier Sarah Palin. She got punk'd by a Canadian comedian on this prank call. Check it out:

Another great 'SNL' skit

Once again, John McCain shows the candidate he could have been (positive) and Tina Fey shows she's an even better Palin than Sarah. What's "Saturday Night Live" gonna do when the election's over Tuesday?

Click here to see John McCain's appearance on "SNL" Saturday.

More fire photos

Be sure to go see the extensive stunning photo galley from the Ledger-Enquirer by clicking here.

Bibb Mill in flames

You certainly can't tell anything from the horrible cell phone picture I took from Second Avenue around 2 a.m., but the historic Bibb Mill was totally engulfed in flames as I was coming home from work after a very long, late shift at the newspaper. Things were exploding as I drove past. Definitely the biggest fire I've ever seen.

Update: REAL PHOTOS from my co-workers are now on the newspaper's Web site, where the story will be updated throughout the day and evening.

Chilly Philly

The fans and players alike looked miserable during the five and a half innings of World Series Game 5 in Philadelphia, which was suspended with the score tied at 2-2 between the Tampa Bay Rays and Philadelphia Phillies. It was rainy, cold and windy. Perhaps they need to go back to a 154-game schedule so that the postseason doesn't stretch quite as far into the cold season. The final innings of Game 5 were to be played tonight, but now they've been postponed until Wednesday. The Phillies could win it all in a game that began Monday and ends Wednesday. Let's hope not. I'm rooting for the Rays.

The suspension also disrupted my workout last night at the gym. It was the perfect situation. I was the only one there and had all the equipment and the four TVs to myself. I had one on the World Series, one on Monday Night Football and one on ESPN News. As I told our executive editor a little while ago, if there just some nekkid people on the other TV, it'd been a guy's paradise.

He told me to shut up. He does that a lot.

Photo by Steve Falk/Philadelphia Daily News

R.I.P., JB

We bid farewell to my old childhood friend and high school buddy Jay Bentley in Warner Robins on Saturday. He'd been in the Army for the past 14 years and had recently become an Army recruiter. He was killed when he ran a stop sign that may or may not have been highly visible according to this story.

Jay was a tennis teammate and lived just a few houses down the street from me. During the second half of my senior year, he pretty much lived by himself while his very sweet mother was dealing with health issues out of town. We didn't throw too many wild parties there, but it did kind of serve as a home base for misbehavior for a while, though nothing too bad. My other cohort that senior year, Travis Burnam, died 10 years ago.

Few things are more sad than going to a funeral where a parent sees their child laid to rest, whether that child is a true kid or a 39-year-old like Jay. And military funerals with the guns and "Taps" always remind me of the first funeral I recall, when my World War II veteran grandfather was laid to rest.

So I felt kind of weird going from there to meeting another friend from way back when, Shane, at a Buffalo's Cafe to watch the Georgia-LSU game. Quite a change of gears for me and Shane, whom I bumped into at the visitation. But I think even a die-hard Auburn fan like Jay would appreciate the tribute we two rabid Bulldog fans paid to him during the viewing party.

War Eagle, buddy.

Song of the South?

As I'm writing this, there's a live feed on CNN.com of McCain supporters waiting to hear him speak in Denver. In the auditorium, they're playing Alabama's "Song of the South." You know, with its lyrics of "Daddy was a veteran, a Southern Democrat.They oughta get a rich man to vote like that," might not be the smartest choice of music.

Very misleading ad

I hope there's no one gullible enough to swallow the Democrats' TV advertisement slamming Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-Ga.) for supporting a 23 percent national sales tax. The ad, which is funded by the Democraric Party and not by Chambliss' opponent, Jim Martin, implies that this 23 percent is on top of business-as-usual. Chambliss merely supported the Fair Tax, which would be a national sales tax of, yes, 23 percent. But the ad fails to mention that such a tax would completely eliminate the national income tax.

I kind of like the Fair Tax myself, but I don't buy as much as most folks. But I have a big problem with any ad playing to the ignorance and fear of the electorate, whether it's this ad from the Democrats or the McCain campaign's tasteless robocalls implying Obama cavorts with terrorists.

Click here to read more about the sales tax ads.

Sarah Palin on 'SNL'

After seeing a video of Sarah Palin's appearance on "Saturday Night Live" and seeing John McCain speak at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner, I'm starting to think that if McCain and Palin had been less obsessed with negativity and pandering to the grouchy bitter right-wingers, they might have had a chance in the presidential election. Check out this video of Palin's good performance on 'SNL':

Their funny side

Presidential candidates Sens. Barack Obama and John McCain showed their funny sides last night at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Foundation Dinner at New York's Waldorf-Astoria Hotel. It's too bad they can't trade such good humor and fun-natured barbs on the campaign trail. Anyway, it's just good to see they're actually human. Sometimes we forget. It's also much more in McCain's nature to make points with humor ... one of the reasons his humorless campaign is failing. And while Obama probably won each debate, McCain probably won this comedic showdown. Check out the videos and decide for yourself. They were both funny ... for a change.

My favorite line from Obama noted that his middle name was obviously given by parents who didn't think he'd run for president some day. He also announced that his middle name is actually Steve.

Check out the videos for yourself.

My yearbook photos

Some of you don't know this, but it took me a long, long time to complete high school ... as evidenced by these yearbook photos of me through the years.

1952

1956

1964


1970 ("Yeah, baby! Yeah")

1974

1976

1978

1984

1994

Go here for your old, old yearbook photos.

Marcia? Marcia? Marcia!!!

Apparently Marcia Brady wasn't the goody-two-shoes we all thought she was. Drugs. Sex. Sex-for-drugs. She even almost got it on with her TV brother Greg ... and wanted to with her TV dad. For a girl who managed to get Davy Jones to play her high school prom, Maureen McCormick's had a tough life, and she's telling all in a new book out today.

Thanks for bursting the bubble of my childhood fantasies, Maureen McCormick. Next you're gonna tell me that girls really don't have huge pillow fights at their slumber parties. No, wait, don't tell me.

Read more about Maureen McCormick's past, including why Jan still hates her, and see a video here.

Bush on the economy

For the first time since his deer-in-the-headlights speech to the nation on the bailout, President Bush spoke Friday from the White House to reassure everybody that the economy will be just fine. He's been making such comments for at least three years, which is about how long the entire rest of the nation has known the economy is screwed. Official recession, depression, whatever? Who knows? But screwed? Everyone can see that. Well, almost everyone.

Here's a short clip of President Bush's statement from the White House on Friday:

5 reasons to kayak at Whitewater in Oglethorpe

1. When I showed up Tuesday at the park with my kayak, the superintendent looked at me as if I'd arrived with a spaceship. This leads me to believe it's not a hot spot among kayakers, which means loner kayakers like me can find some peace and quiet. Actually, I was the only person in any type of boat this day. Sweet.

2. I know the place. I grew up camping and fishing out there. My grandmother went to church there. I played on the playgrounds there as a kid. Even smooched with a few girls out there without any charges being pressed (as far as I know). I like exploring new places in my kayak, but there's something to be said for familiar territory, too. It's all about balance.

3. As the sign shown above at the boat ramp indicates, you're not gonna be bothered by personal watercraft and speeding boats. Nothing wrong with those. If I strike it rich, I'll have me a lake house somewhere with some of my own. But naturally beautiful and peaceful spots like this should be reasonably undisturbed. There are places to cut up and places to chill out and places to do both. If only everyone could tell them apart.

4. Because you don't have to worry about speeding watercraft, you can assume a more relaxed paddling approach, as evidenced by the photo below. You can even carry cell phones and digital cameras with you.

5. When you get through kayaking, you can eat at some of the best restaurants in Georgia in a 30-mile radius ... Troy's Snack Shack and Yoder's Deutsch Haus in Montezuma; Oglethorpe Barbecue Co. in Guess Where; The Pizza Place in Ellaville; Justin's Place in Butler; and The Station, Forsyth Bar & Grill, Pat's Place and Monroe's in Americus to name a few. Not to mention there's no better (or cheaper) way to fuel yourself for an excursion on the water than with a morning stop at Grover's Grits where their motto is stated on the sign outside: "Order what you want; eat what you get."

Enough disappointment to go around

Now THIS just might be the most depressing story of the economic disaster so far. Even more depressing than knowing your tax dollars are being used in a bailout that will facilitate further mismanagement, much like giving your drunk relative $500 to get him through as he promises to do better.

Another disappointing thing is see gas prices barely nudge down as oil prices tumble. Remember when oil prices would go up and gas prices would reflect it immediately. The industry said they were just at the mercy of the markets. So why are gas prices not going down proportionally as they did going up? See, now there are all sorts of "other factors" besides the price of oil at play. Awfully convenient.

No shaving

A lot of people make snide comments because I don't put a razor to my face anymore. I'm not conforming to that clean-shaven look anymore. I'll trim it up every now and then, but I've got a baby face, and when I shave, I look like a 12-year-old. Anyway, I don't think my scruffy look is too bad, do you?