Marcia Marcia Marcia

A few guys at the office were talking about the rescue of that missing Boy Scout in North Carolina, which naturally led to the equally serious situation when Bobby and Cindy Brady got lost in the Grand Canyon on "The Brady Bunch." Which, naturally, led us to the inevitable Jan-or-Marcia, Ginger-or-Mary Ann, Betty-or-Wilma discussion. Let me reiterate this was a bunch of guys talking, and this is the kind of serious stuff we menfolk talk about when you womenfolk are off doing silly woman things.

Anyway, there was a latecomer to the conversation who was asked "Jan or Marcia?" He had no idea who we were talking about. "You know, 'The Brady Bunch.' "

"I've never seen 'The Brady Bunch,' " he said, simply, as if that were some sort of OK thing. How could a man with 7 TVs say such a thing? Is there any culture left in today's society? And this guy wasn't 22 years old with an excuse. He's worked here about as long as I've been alive. He could have been in love with Marcia Brady in real time. I had to be in love with her in mere reruns.

Of course, a fellow columnist whose identity I shall protect, was asked the "Jan or Marcia" question as well. His answer was "Alice."

Anyway, the correct answer is Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. She was so groovy.