While at the gym a few minutes ago, I did my weightlifting and then hit the elliptical thingamajig (it's not an elliptical machine, treadmill or stairclimber -- it's a little of each) and that's when I find me a TV station to watch. Since I'm already listening to my own music on my MP3 player, I either need sports, news or close-captioned shows to watch. Today, since sports don't get cranked up good until tonight, I turned it to Headline News and proceeded to start ellipticalizing. Over the next 35 minutes, Headline News followed a non-eventful car chase in L.A. I'd have changed it, but you just can't stop ellipticalizing once you get started.
Thank goodness for the scroll at the bottom of the screen with actual, you know, NEWS on it. This wasn't even a car chase. It was a high-speed car following. The woman, apparently upset over a car rental agreement, was arrested without incident. Too often, television stations mistake "news" for "things we can show on camera."
About Me
- Chris Johnson
- Americus, Georgia, United States
- I'm currently the director of communications at The Fuller Center for Housing in Americus, Ga. I grew up in Oglethorpe, Ga., which literally has just one traffic light, and I remain a small-town boy at heart. I consider myself a "yupneck," which is half-yuppie, half-redneck. I've written for the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer since 1997. I've also worked as a sports writer and columnist at newspapers in Americus, Valdosta and Montezuma, all in Georgia. Ideally, I'd live out the rest of my days as a novelist living in relative seclusion somewhere on the beautiful Georgia Coast, dragging my kayak onto lonesome beaches and jotting down the occasional story idea.
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